Inside Number 9 Episode Synopsis Thread

michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
Series 5, Episode 1 - The Referee's A W***er
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Brendan (Reece Shearsmith), Phil (Ralf Little), Martin (David Morrissey), Oggy (Steve Pemberton). Copyright: BBC

The beautiful game. The crunch-clash between United and Rovers in the last match of the season, all safely in the care of the four match officials. A tale of promotion, relegation, corruption, and so, so much more.

Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Sam (Kadiff Kirwan), Beattie (Jenna Coleman)
2. Death Be Not Proud
Monday 10th February 2020
Young couple Beattie and Sam are finally on the property ladder, but the only flat they can afford has a dark and sinister past - one that demands to be heard.
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Mia (Gaby French), Trevor (Steve Pemberton), Patrick (Bobby Schofield), Julia (Debbie Rush), Connor (Olly Hudson-Croker), Alex (Reece Shearsmith)
3. Love's Great Adventure
Monday 17th February 2020
Trevor and Julia always want to make Christmas really special for their family but this year, with money so tight, things aren't going to be easy. As each door of the advent calendar opens, everyone will have to do their bit to make Christmas happen.
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Willy Wando (Steve Pemberton), Neville Griffin (Reece Shearsmith)
4. Misdirection
Monday 24th February 2020
World-famous magician Neville Griffin is extremely protective of his secrets, but student journalist Gabriel is determined to get his interview nonetheless. Griffin actually believes that stealing a magic trick is probably worse than murder. How would he know that, exactly?
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Bill (Phil Davis), Angel (Ioanna Kimbook), Galen (Steve Pemberton), Nadia (Maxine Peake), Diana (Sandra Gayer), Aidan (Reece Shearsmith)
5. Thinking Out Loud
Monday 2nd March 2020
Seven disparate characters share their stories with a camera, their fates inevitably, inextricably, and unknowingly set for a head-on collision.
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: S/PC Varney (Reece Shearsmith), PC Thompson (Steve Pemberton)
6. The Stakeout
Monday 9th March 2020
Two police officers have time to get to know each other on the night shift. But PC Thompson's previous partner died in a brutal attack less than a month ago, the forensics have gone missing and PC Varney is beginning to ask a lot of awkward questions.
 

michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
Series 6
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: The Doctor (Steve Pemberton), Scaramouche, a Soldier (Reece Shearsmith)
1. Wuthering Heist
Monday 10th May 2021
Pantalone has an audacious plan to steal a consignment of diamonds worth a tasty twelve million. But he's hired a complete bunch of double-crossing clowns to do it.
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Simon Smethurst (Reece Shearsmith), Spencer Maguire (Steve Pemberton)
2. Simon Says
Monday 17th May 2021
Everyone says the season seven finale of fantasy epic The Ninth Circle was pretty disappointing - even show-runner Spencer Maguire is keen to move on to new projects. But not everyone thinks that it has to be the end of the matter. In fact, Ninth Circle obsessive Simon Smethurst decides to visit his hero to help put things right. Because that's what the fans would want...
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Felix Hughes (Steve Pemberton), Eric (Reece Shearsmith)
3. Lip Service
Monday 24th May 2021
Felix is pretty certain his wife is up to something with her boss Dmitri, so he decides to hire some help to prove things either one way or the other. When professional lip-reader Iris arrives with her powerful binoculars, the pair stake out in a hotel bedroom and start to gather their evidence. With Sian Clifford.

Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Adrian (Adrian Dunbar), James (Reece Shearsmith), Stan (Steve Pemberton), Bev (Donna Preston), Oona (Pauline McLynn), Jo (Bhavna Limbachia)
4. Hurry Up And Wait
Monday 31st May 2021
Actor James is waiting for his big moment on ITV's new crime drama in a static caravan, owned by a strange family that clearly have something to hide.
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Urban Bedford (Reece Shearsmith), Webster (Derek Jacobi), Lift Attendant (Steve Pemberton)
5. How Do You Plead?
Monday 7th June 2021
Webster, the famous barrister, is not well and not an easy man to look after. His carer Urban knows how to take the rough with the smooth, dishing out the drugs or appealing to the old man's vanity. But on this particular night, something is coming that will test Webster's resolve and legal skills to the very end.
Inside No. 9. Image shows from L to R: Mick (Steve Pemberton), Brian (Reece Shearsmith)
6. Last Night Of The Proms
Monday 14th June 2021
Dawn and Mick are hosting their annual Last Night of the Proms party as the perfect antidote to post-Brexit Britain, with everyone expected to wave their Union Jacks and sing along to Land of Hope and Glory, But Dawn's sister Penny has seen a mysterious stranger lurking around the neighbourhood and her husband Brian isn't feeling particularly patriotic and, by the time the fat lady sings, everyone's lives will be changed forever.
 

michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
NEW SERIES 7.1. MERRILY MERRILY
Just started watching new series and I'll post as I watch them.

Laurence has organised an afternoon on a pedalo with former college chums, Darren and Callum. Joining them uninvited is Donna, Darren's latest girl friend.
As they pedal out to the centre of the lake a hooded figure watching them from an island on the lake centre.
As they reminisce about happier times it's obvious that life hasn't really worked out for any of them. Laurence is still at the same college, now teaching the exact same course he graduated in, Darren reveals he got thrown out of college because of dyslexia, and Callum wanted kids, but his only " girls" are his pet dogs. Donna quips that her life is going OK, probably because
" I didn't go to f**king college "
The pedalo becomes stranded in the middle of the lake caught up in weeds, and as darkness falls Laurence reveals why they're really here. His wife Bonnie recently died, and he has her ashes in a leather holdall. He wanted his mates here because they were with him when he first met Bonnie and attended their wedding and now he's going to scatter her ashes. Suddenly Laurence jumps into the water with the holdall and swims to the island.

Later on the island Laurence has created a shrine to Bonnie, including candles and a photo of her. Back on the pedalo the other three are still stranded when Callum opens Laurence's sports bag to reveal an empty packaging from a product called "Ashes To Flashes- Funeral Fireworks "
The sky is lit up by Fireworks, Laurence has mixed Bonnie's ashes with the fireworks. After , he lays down at the shrine , the cold biting into him , as he prepares to die.
The next morning Laurence finds himself in a rowing boat, the hooded man , face concealed, but he has a deep voice and a beard, is rowing him to shore.
Laurence asks where his mates are, the hooded figure replies, " they're safe , on the other side."
At the shore the hooded man extends his hand for payment, Laurence starts choking but then coughs up a gold coin to pay the Ferryman. On the shore he smiles as Bonnie greets him.
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michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
7.2 Mr King
Alan Curtis arrives at a school in Wales to take up a teaching position, teaching 10 year olds. The headmaster Mr Edwards introduces him to the class and the kids are a moody lot, pining for previous teacher Mr King, who has sent the kids a postcard from his new home in Australia. Edwards gets one of the kids Ceri to read the card out in class.
The days go by and Alan is surprised the kids know nothing of global warming or climate change and Alan feels pressure as the kids constantly refer to Mr King and how wonderful he was.
Then trouble, Ceri a little girl accuses him of talking about Michael Jackson and playing with boys bottoms. The head Mr Edwards has a chat in the classroom after school and confirms the allegation made and Ceri has drawn a picture of Alan's penis that she claims he showed her.
Mr Edwards asks Alan if he can see his todger and compare it to the drawing, or he'll get the police involved. Alan reluctantly agrees and lowers his pants while Edwards takes a polaroid picture with an old camera. This fits in with the school generally, being behind the times, Edwards calls Emails, Bmails. Strangely the cleaning lady Winnie saw Edwards taking the picture of Alan's penis and thinks nothing of it.
Alan suspects something sinister is going on as Ceri was lying and why is the question.
He borrows the keys to Edwards office from Winnie and enters Edwards office unseen. In a filing cabinet he sees a folder marked Mr King, inside are photos of previous teacher's penises, and the postcard Ceri read out from Mr King was posted in Cardiff not Australia. Also the staffing records show no Mr King has ever taught in the school.
Alan gets on the phone to Edwards and accuses him of covering up sexual abuse in the school. Edwards is in the school grounds and says he'll meet him for a talk.
In the classroom the kids want to show Alan their rehearsal for a forthcoming assembly ' play' about the environment.
Alan sits on his chair as the kids begin the play , the lines all about green issues and recycling. Alan is pleased, but when he tries to stand his arms are stuck to the chair with superglue. The kids play turns disturbing, about sacrifice to appease the gods of nature. The kids then superglue Alan lips together as Edwards comes in, urging the kids to carry on. He tells the terrified Alan that the school has been sacrificing to nature for years and he is to be the new Mr King. Edwards takes out a corn dolly and slips it into Alan's pants over his penis which Edwards says is wonderfully sheathed ( not circumcised) as nature intended. The kids don pagan masks and Winnie enters with a barleycorn mask that she places on Alan's head, he is the new corn king and Winnie says he'll ensure a wonderful crop of leeks at the harvest. The kids carry Alan's chair out as tambourines are played and flutes too. As the procession moves out we see a kid's painting on the wall, a dismembered head hanging from a tree branch, dripping blood.
A very dark tale indeed, but not really original, yep, The Wicker Man gets the Inside Number 9 treatment, but enjoyable.
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michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
7.3 Nine Lives Kat
How an earth does one describe this episode, with difficulty that's how.
Kat, short for Katerina is a copper with the nickname '9 lives' is investigating a child's disappearance. But she's been removed from the case, she's an alcoholic, using vodka to wet her breakfast cereal instead of milk. She's assisted by a copper Ezra Jones, keeps turning up at her house with news of the search for the boy.
Then Kat awakes......was it a dream?
In her bed is copper Barnabus Bull ,nothing sexual going on, they both got drunk and crashed out the night before. Bull is her partner on the case. In the kitchen Kat has her usual Vodka and cereal as the case is further discussed. When Jones here again helps Bull make tea in the kitchen this leaves Kat free to rifle through Jones jacket and in a wallet finds a photo of Jones with the missing boy.
Kat confronts Jones, and wants to know why he keeps turning up in her house when she never gave him a key. Jones says it's not actually her house, he says he's tried so hard with Kat but it's not working out ,her character is not shaping up. He's an author and Kat is fictional, a drunken copper with issues and an odd police partner in Barnabus Bull. Kat wants to know why Jones has a photo of the missing boy. Jones just used his son in this story to help him create the character. Jones tests his characters believability by making them real inside his head and playing out scenes in his imagination, but Kat is a failure and the notes on her creation must be placed in storage in the bottom drawer of his writing desk.
Kat insists she's real with a daughter asleep upstairs, Jones asks Kat what her daughter's name is, Kat can't answer, Jones says that's because he didn't give her one, the child was a last minute character tossed in to make Kat more interesting, but it hasn't worked out.
Bull is apparently a better bet, he can envisage a series of books with him as lead character.
Barnabus Bull, in the kitchen too, but er...fictional suggests titles such as Red Rag To A Bull, Bullseye, Kat chimes in with " Bullsh*t." Jones closes a folder of notes on his character Kat and tosses it in the drawer.
And Ezra Jones awakes......what a strange dream!!
Jones is now an award winning author, his Bull detective books have won him awards a-plenty. He lives with his wife in a beautiful home, but trouble as his wife wants to know where their son is, why didn't Ezra pick him up from school. Ezra shows her his phone and a text from her saying not to pick him up as she'll do it. But the wife says she lost her mobile and didn't send the text. Someone has kidnapped their son. Days go by no news is heard, Matilda Gordon police liaison officer comforts them.
Next day Ezra wakes, goes downstairs and finds Matilda Gordon dead on the settee throat cut.
In the kitchen is the fictional Kat who's just come back to see how the story ends..
Kat taking revenge for being dumped by Ezra for being a character he no longer wants to keep. Kat has the wife's lost mobile that she says Ezra had all along, and is framing Ezra for the kidnapping and Matilda Gordon's death. She opens the larder door and the dead Bull falls out. Jones is confused and says " I didn't write any of this." The wife turns up in the kitchen and she and Kat embrace in a long lesbian kiss. Jones asks Kat what she wants, she replies that she wants to solve the case, beat alcoholism and toss her police badge in the river. Jones agrees, blackmailed by his own characters! The wife chips in with, " erm am I still a lesbian?"
Bull gets up from the floor asking if he's still supposed to be dead.
A woman cries out shouting at everyone to shut up.
In the study is Matilda Gordon alive at her computer stating that this ending is ridiculous and trite and unbelievable, as an author she just can't do endings. This project started off as a good idea, an author Ezra Jones haunted by his own characters but has turned into a sub standard Stephen King. Ezra Jones insists he's real, an award winning author, but Matilda says " sorry darling but you're really not"
Jones grabs one of his books, but on opening it sees all the pages are blank.
Matilda says sorry Ezra, but into the bottom drawer you go. Matilda gets her folder notes about her character Ezra Jones and throws them in the drawer, to which Jones can only say, " oh sh*t."
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michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
7.4 Kid|Nap
A split screen is used during most of this tale involving kidnapping, hence the split title.
Lara is the wife of hedge fund manager Dom and is kidnapped from her home by Shane , a bungling ex army man posing as the postman.
Using Chloroform Lara is knocked out and Shane takes her to a bungalow and she awakes tied to a chair.
Shane phones Dom at his office and using a hand held voice distorter demands Dom in person comes to the cottage and transfer over 1 million pounds into an account.
Shane is just a hired hand, hired by Clifford who comes to the bungalow to take charge.
Dom has called the police in and Clifford phones him and threatens to cut off Lara's ears and send them to him to show he means business. Shane is sent out by Clifford to get some food, and when Clifford and Lara are alone the twist is revealed.
Clifford and Lara are in cahoots, the kidnap is a fake, they are lovers, squeezing husband Dom out of cash because he won't give her a divorce.
Unexpectedly early Shane returns to see Lara free, after Clifford untied her, so to keep up the pretense Lara grabs a knife and puts it to Clifford's throat to make out she's escaped capture. But Immediately she surrenders and keeping the illusion for Shane Clifford ties her up again.
Shane has drawn his gun and is reluctant to put it away when Clifford asks him to. It is clear that Clifford and Lara's plan was to keep Shane out of the loop and not even pay him. Clifford tries to grab the gun off Shane but unfortunately it goes off, and Clifford dies.
Shane remorseful is now intent on carrying out the plan, starting with removing Lara's earrings and lobes. Lara pleads with Shane telling him it was all fake.
Dom surrounded by police receives a package containing earrings and purportedly Lara's ear lobes. On police advice he is going to the bungalow to transfer the money, but he'll have a bullet proof vest on and a wiretap device and helmet on for protection.
Arriving at the bungalow Dom enters nervously as the SWAT team armed wait outside. Inside Lara tied to the chair, a bloodstained scarf around her head covering her ears is terrified as Dom gets online and transfers the cash. But it's a trap, Lara leaps up, Shane uses the chloroform on Dom, then undresses him.
Lara uses the voice distorter knowing the police are listening to trick the police into thinking she and Dom have overpowered Shane, and can escape.
Shane posing as Dom and Lara emerge from the bungalow and head for the getaway car provided by the police as part of the deal they made with Shane.
The police think it's Dom in the car driving Lara to safety, they enter the bungalow and find a bemused Dom awakening from the chloroform and also find the dead Clifford and wonder what the hell has happened.
Clifford's earlobes have been sliced off and they realise they've been duped.
Lara and Shane drive off to a waiting plane and off to a new life.
This was an okay only story, a bit confusing and we presume Lara just as Shane was going to cut her ears off made a deal with him. Whether she'll betray him we'll never know.
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michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
7.5 A Random Act Of Kindness
This episode has a staggering twist and surely no one could forsee this, but some clever clogs on YouTube claim they did.
Zach is a surly bad tempered teenager studying physics at college hopefully to go on to University. He lives with his mother after his father has left home and set up with a new partner in Singapore. This makes Zach incredibly vicious and aggressive to his mum Helen, who is a bit sad and desperately wants companionship. Zach has no intention to be his mum's surrogate pal.
They constantly bicker and after another shouting match Zach goes to his bedroom and on his laptop gets on with his physics course work. Suddenly something is heard banging the window of his bedroom and it appears a sparrow has flown into the glass and lays stunned on the grass.
The front doorbell rings and a man is there , he has picked up the bird and wants to bring it into the house to recuperate. Helen desperate for company says yes and the man enters gently holding the bird.
By cutting up a cereal box Helen makes a little cot for the bird and places it on the kitchen floor. The man places the bird in the box and introduces himself as Bob Bliss.
After a while the bird recovers and flies about the kitchen, Helen releases it.
Zach is introduced to Bob and when Helen reveals Zach is studying physics Bob reveals he is a physicist and studied at the Uni that Zach is aiming for. Another argument ensues when Helen suggests Zach needs extra tutoring and Bob agrees to come round and give Zach extra lessons.
Things go well, Zach makes progress and Helen finds Bob charming company.
Interspersed with these scenes we have seen a couple of times a Dr Brann making school videos on the subject of physics, he makes videos used as teaching aids.
Meanwhile Bob sets Zach a problem, using physics can he predict who will win a horse race, using data such as jockey weights, ground density, horse bio data etc.
Helen receives a phone call that she's been dreading, from a hospital with results of her scan, she has to go to the hospital to get the results. Before she leaves she notices the cereal box is still on the kitchen floor.
She picks it up and notices the barcode on the box, the number of the barcode is 55179909, when read upside down reads Bob Bliss. Bob is a phoney, that isn't his name, but who is he?
Zach returns home with news that the horse he predicted to win has won and Bob is coming over with £2000, half he'll give to Zach. Helen forbids him to take it, and doesn't want Bob in the house again, saying that he's a weirdo who rescued a bird and they know nothing about him.
Zach is furious and threatens to run off to Singapore to take up his father's offer of a paid for place at Uni out there. Helen in tears tells him to go then and Zach promises he will.
Helen leaves to get her scan results, and Bob turns up at the house, Zach does what Helen asks and refuses the money and storms up to his bedroom. Bob follows him up and reveals something incredible.
Helen returns and she has a pamphlet with her ," Living With Terminal Illness ", she is dying.
In Zach's bedroom Bob reveals Zach's theories about black holes is right and in the future he will succeed in creating a mini black hole in a laboratory and be world famous as a quantum leaper.
Zach thinks Bob is mad, until Bob shows him a tattoo on his arm, the same as Zach's. BOB IS A FUTURE ZACH, quantum leaped into the past to tell Zach to be kind to his mother as she's dying. He tells Zach that he did go to Singapore, Helen died and he has had to live with the guilt of how badly he treated his mum, never having the chance to say he loved her.
Older Zach asks Zach to tell Helen how much he loves her. Older Zach gets a gun out and blows his brains out. Helen runs in and Zach and Helen make peace.
Forward 50 YEARS.
Zach in the year 2072 has just attended the tasteful funeral service of his mum Helen who lived to 92. In this timeline Older Zach going back to visit his younger self and telling him the truth meant Zach studied Chemistry not physics, he created an anti cancer vaccine and Helen lived.
Dr Brann, the guy making school physics videos enters and pulls a gun on Zach, revealing he has received a video message on his phone from a version of himself from a redundant time line. In the original timeline, Brann and Zach created a black hole/ wormhole in the laboratory and sent a sparrow into it, and were world famous as Quantum leap technology creators, but Zach altering the timeline to save his mother meant Dr Brann ended up doing the cr*p job he has now. Brann wants to reverse the timeline shift. Zach says that'll mean Helen will die. Brann is sympathetic but he doesn't want to be collateral damage for saving Helen's life. The two of them struggle over the gun. How does it end, does Brann succeed in undoing Zach's altering of the timeline?
Last scene: Young Zach is in his bedroom when a sparrow flies into the window. The sparrow lies on the grass.....no one picks it up.....the sparrow dies.
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michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
The ending explained courtesy of Radio Times

Inside No. 9 ending explained: A Random Act of Kindness
Viewers would be forgiven for feeling slightly uneasy about Bob, who appears at Helen's door one afternoon with an injured bird and appears to know more about her son than he initially lets on.

Fortunately, his intentions are broadly good, as we learn in a shock twist that he is an older version of Zach from many decades in the future.

After becoming a science whizz, he was able to harness the power of black holes to travel back in time and implore Zach to be kinder to his mother, informing the teenager that his mother is dying of terminal cancer.

In the original timeline, Zach's guilt over his treatment of his mother haunts him for his entire life and he wants nothing more than to fix how things ended between them.

The older Zach takes his own life after telling his younger self the mammoth secret, in a move which he hopes will close the loop and correct history.
It appears for a moment that he has been successful as we are then shown a vision of the future in which Zach pioneered a miracle cancer cure that helped his mother live happily well into her 90s.

Additionally, Zach himself seems far more content as he no longer lives with an intrusive form of OCD which caused him to repeat the double letters in any word he spoke – likely developed as a result of his aforementioned guilt.

However, at his mother's wake, a scientist named Rudolph (Reece Shearsmith) confronts him about his meddling with the timeline, which he is aware of only due to a message left on his phone by his former self.

It explained that Rudolph and Zach created time travel technology together, which the latter then used for his own personal goals, which has the consequence of eradicating their meeting.
Rudolph is particularly angry about this as he is far less successful and respected in the new timeline, reduced to making online videos for children as opposed to conducting groundbreaking research.

Pulling out a futuristic gun, he attacks Zach and the two get into a scrap in his childhood kitchen. Cut back to the present day: while we don't learn exactly how their fight ended, the implication is things did not go well for Zach.

Once again we see a bird fly into the upstairs window of Helen's house and seriously injuring itself in the process, but this time, older Zach does not appear to retrieve it and ask his mother for help nursing it back to health.


Therefore, it seems that Rudolph was successful in stopping him from travelling back to prevent his regretful actions, meaning the younger Zach is doomed to repeat the same mistreatment of his ill-fated mother.
 

michaellevenson

Member: Rank 8
Series 7 overall review, IMO the darkest series yet and topped only by series 3 for consistent quality.

SERIES 8 IS HERE, ON APRIL 27TH

Series 8

Inside No. 9. Image shows left to right: Pierce (Reece Shearsmith), Posy (Shobna Gulati), Dr Jasper Parkway (Steve Pemberton), Dick (Simon Callow)
Christmas Special: The Bones Of St. Nicholas
Thursday 22nd December 2022
Dr Jasper Parkway has booked an overnight stay in a reputedly haunted church on Christmas Eve. However, much to his dismay, he is soon joined by unwanted guests Pierce and Posy, who have even brought their own sleeping bags. Together with the eccentric warden Dick, it doesn't look like Jasper is going to be lonely this Christmas. Even though sherry, biscuits and Yuletide phantoms are on offer, why is Jasper so keen to be left to his own devices?
Inside No. 9. Image shows left to right: Edward (Reece Shearsmith), Harry (Steve Pemberton)
2. Mother's Ruin
Thursday 27th April 2023
East End villains Harry and Annie Blackwood were rotten to the core and did some truly horrible things when they were alive. What secrets did they take to their grave? Their sons plan to find out.

Inside No. 9. Image shows left to right: Barry Styles (Steve Pemberton), Gareth Beckman (Reece Shearsmith)
3. Paraskevidekatriaphobia
Thursday 4th May 2023
Gareth is definitely going to be working from home today. Just to be on the safe side. In case anything unlucky happens. Because today just happens to be Friday the thirteenth.
Inside No. 9. Image shows left to right: Manny (Steve Pemberton), Vicky (Claire Rushbrook), Norman (Reece Shearsmith)
4. Love Is A Stranger
Thursday 11th May 2023
You get to meet all sorts when you go online dating, as Vicky's about to find out. Will she finally meet her perfect match? Or will she be talking to the Lonely Hearts Killer?
Inside No. 9. Lee (Lee Mack)
5. 3 By 3
Thursday 18th May 2023
In a replacement to the advertised programme, three threesomes compete for the big cash prize in this new general knowledge quiz presented by Lee Mack.
Inside No. 9. Image shows left to right: Joe (Steve Pemberton), Chas (Reece Shearsmith), Mollie (Sheila Reid)
6. The Last Weekend
Thursday 25th May 2023
Joe and Chas have been together for nine years. It's a long time to be truly in love with someone. But how long does it take to properly say goodbye
 
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