Fun Rubbish Superheroes

Doctor Omega

Moderator
substandard superheroes.jpg




They never made the grade!

But why?

NB: For some reason, none of the following are part of any shared universe. Nor are any massively budgeted films in preparation about any of them.




But maybe they should be! :emoji_nerd:






.
 
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Carol

Member: Rank 5
Hilarious! Though I remain very fond of the Legion of Super Heroes and some of their frankly dodgier members.
I can't stand Iron Man by the way - I'd shove him down to the Sunday league without batting an eyelid.
 

Doctor Omega

Moderator
The Legion of the Superpets





Who can blame Invisible Kid? That airplane looks mighty small, and we doubt any of them are toilet-trained.

In 1962, DC created the Legion of Super Pets. Consisting of Kypto the Super-Dog, Beppo the Super-Monkey, Comet the Super-Horse and Streaky the Super-Cat, the pets assisted Superman and Supergirl, and were able to communicate with them telepathically. No, of course they couldn’t speak, that’d be ridiculous!
 
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Carol

Member: Rank 5
I remember the Super-Pets (go Krypto!) but Jell-o Man? YOU ARE MAKING THEM UP NOW to give us all nightmares.., but it clearly shows you are highly skilled in faking the style of classic comic covers .
Bravo Doc. A chorus line of tasteless disco dancers prances your praises.

:emoji_man_dancing::emoji_man_dancing::emoji_man_dancing::emoji_man_dancing::emoji_man_dancing:
 

Doctor Omega

Moderator
Arm-Fall-Off Boy2.jpg


Arm Fall Off Boy




Arm Fall Off Boy
DC Comics

First Appearance: Secret Origins Vol. 2 #46, (1989)

Created by Curt Swan

This is how it went.

CURT: SO, DC, WHADDUP? YO, I’VE GOT THIS IDEA FOR A GUY WHO CAN DETACH HIS ARMS AND USE ’EM AS CLUBS. HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE THINKING OF NAMES THOUGH. FANCY HELPING?

DC COMICS: SURE! HOW ABOUT LEPER?

CURT: NAH.

DC COMICS: MR POTATO ARMS?

CURT: TOO OBSCURE. I NEED SOMETHING MORE EXPLANATORY.

DC COMICS: ARM FALL OFF BOY…

CURT: NAILED IT!


Lame rating: Mostly Armless.
 
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Doctor Omega

Moderator
Captain Marvel





Not to be confused with the other, more well-known Captain Marvel, this guy had the alarming ability to throw his arms and legs at enemies. It’s not a particularly powerful ability, but I’m sure it caught the bad guys off guard.
 

Doctor Omega

Moderator
Nope,all legit, honest! The comic book artists and creators all really thought that each of these trav.... creations might be the Next Big Thing! :emoji_grin:

You have prompted me to have closer look into Jello Man and Wobbly though....


There’s always room for Jell-O! It’s as true today as it was when Kraft Food Company adopted the slogan in 1964 to promote a variety of delicious gelatinous desserts. Although millions of people continue to slide loads of this patented sugary gelatin down their gullets each year, the company’s former mascot, Jell-O Man, has all but faded into obscurity. One of the few antiquities that documents this coagulated hero’s existence is The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly, a free promotional comic released in 1991. I received my copy of this comic when I was eleven years old as a supplement in the first issue of Nickelodeon Magazine. The Jell-O Man and Wobbly comic was a self-proclaimed collector’s edition, and I bought their pitch hook, line, and sinker. I was certain that this supposed four-color treasure was going to secure my retirement during my twilight years. I carefully read this issue at a forty degree angle to avoid breaking the spine, and then methodically bagged and boarded it. Unfortunately, my numerous attempts to sell the issue were met with scowls and laughter by the plethora of potential buyers. In hindsight, I’m glad no one took me up on my offers, because this comic has grown on me quite a bit since my pre-teen years. I’m unaware of this issue having any monetary value, but I have definitely developed a sentimental attachment to it. As you’ve probably guessed, this week’s Wacky Comic Wednesday is devoted to one of my childhood delights, the corporate sponsored, propaganda leaflet/proponent of my adolescent obesity known as The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly #1.



So it turns out that one was a promotional pastiche comic, given away, never intended to be an issue two. :emoji_alien:



 
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