Review Tonight! "Twin Peaks" S02E04 "Laura's Secret Diary"

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Member: Rank 5
You all know my review style. I like to watch an episode in its entirety and then give my raw emotional impression of what I just saw, usually highlighting the most important aspects of the story and point out some curious aspect of it. I don’t subscribe to descriptive reviews.

However this doesn’t work with Twin Peaks. There isn’t much of what we can call a story, but fragments of a bigger story instead. Most shows have their episodes structured as something with beginning, middle and an end, with a bigger plot running in the background. Twin Peaks, on the other hand, likes to begin lots of new stuff and not finish anything. Because of this, I have to change my style, and describe things more (preferably as I watch them) in the hopes this will all make sense in the future. Bear with me here.

So… Here we go.

Leland is in trouble. But I think he won’t have problems getting away with murder by pleading insanity, or strong emotional distress, or both actually. Leland is defending himself in court. Is he crazy? Oh, well, we already know he is. OK, I think this will only strengthen his insanity plea. But of course that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode. (And this is a sentence I’ll have to repeat more and more.)

Andy has to collect a sample of his “homunculi”. I thought all it would take him would be to think of Lucy (though that could be a case of hate masturbation, or mixed feelings at best), but that point is moot, since he decided to take an erotic magazine to the restroom. And, of course… Lucy caught him red-handed. Or should we say, hairy-palmed? The situation was, of course, hilarious and obviously, as most soap operas and sitcoms demand, she wouldn’t ask him for any explanations and he would offer any so we get classical humor through misunderstanding.

Lucy chooses Cooper as her confidant. I laughed at the part in which he asks her “Are you still seeing this DICK?” No room for subtlety there. I can’t believe Lucy is falling for that Dick’s smooth talking. But then he overplays his hand by offering her money to have an abortion. Even such a gullible girl like Lucy won’t take that. But of course that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

Meanwhile, Audrey’s ordeal knows no limit. Well, at least she can rest assure that the kidnappers are perfectly “reasonable” people, something that is emphasized several times actually, which is a good sign, or at least was, until Mr. Reasonable is shot dead by Mr. Flawless French Accent.

So… Ben is being blackmailed by the French man. Now Ben will pay attention to his daughter’s situation, finally. Especially because that will hurt him in the pocket, where it hurts the most. But of course (you guessed) that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

Donna’s connection with Harold “The Piemaker/orchid grower” deepens. But she’s more interested in Laura’s diary. To her surprise, Harold makes it no secret that he has the diary. Harold rambles about putting things in a larger context because people are living novels or something while he reads Laura’s diary entry in which Laura admits that Donna wouldn’t be her friend if she knew about Laura’s “insides” (?), and in this case I’ll just assume she was not talking about her intestines because those, I’m afraid, have gone back to the eternal circle of life to feed lower life forms. Methinks Donna is pretty interested in that diary. But of course that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

So, Jocelyn is back finally! With so many characters it’s wise to give some of them a break from time to time. Truman doesn’t really believe Josie went to Seattle, and suspects she’s after the insurance money. I’d say he did his best to show as much objectivity as he could while tearing up her closes in the passionate act of love-making. Oh, and of course there’s some creep peeking through the window. In Audrey’s absence, somebody else has to play that role. But of course that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

Then we have the bit about the restaurant critic. All he wants is “typical American food”, a burger and fries. OK, here’s what I think will happen. First, I don’t think that’s the food critic at all, and they’ll move heaven and earth to please the guy and then the real food critic will show up and she’ll be kind of rude with him and will be afraid he’ll give them a bad review, but in the end he’ll love the food and it all ends well. But of course that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

Cooper is an eternal optimist. Only he would call haven a place where he was hot point blank. Nothing more to say about that.

The judge that comes to work on Leland’s case also brings a county clerk who also happens to be super-hot. And she and Dale share some compromising glances, I think, or perhaps I’m reading too much into it. I don’t think they would cast such a remarkably looking woman if she were to remain an anonymous extra in the background. On the other hand, I see she won’t remain in the show very long, so I guess this is one more thing we’ll have to wait and see to understand. But of course that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

A strange Oriental man comes to Twin Peaks all the way from… “Seattle”, land of mystery. Ha, nice joke. I’m afraid the credits ruined the joke for me. I think I’ll be changing that to prevent that from happening to others. But of course that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

Speaking of Oriental men, Hank comes across one in the dark in the restaurant where he works. And of course, the Oriental man is some sort of martial artist. Hank’s blood brother? I know, I know. Wait and see. Why would I want any answer in this episode at all? But of course (for the final time) that doesn’t end here, so we’ll learn more next episode.

I find it hard to grade a show with this structure, so until second notice I’ll keep giving it 5 story fragments.

Bob Peters 61

Member: Rank 2
Well, Josie's back and extra seductive in a nightie for the Sheriff. And there's someone's peeping outside the window. I think it's the same Asian gentleman who's been watching Agent Cooper, but by the light of lightning, it's hard to say. For all that lighting showed it could have been anyone.

But we do see that Josie's in cahoots with the mysterious man in the dirty goings on surrounding the mill. We also see that Hank's no match for his martial arts skills. Weird closing threat to show him a drop of blood just removed from the trickle from his mouth, but plenty intimidating as this guy doesn't need a temper to outfight him.

Hank snoops in the wallet of the presumed critic who just wanted a burger and fries, and he's from the District Attorney's office. Better not let the guy catch him with it. He's on parole.

Speaking of the mysterious travel critic rumored to be in town, something just doesn't seem right at all about that bearded Japanese guy. Could he possibly be for real?

Harold doesn't know about appropriate and inappropriate subject matter, reading from the most erotic passages of the Laura Palmer Diaries in his possession. Did he think it would turn Donna on or something? I'm guessing that he's really just that socially awkward.

Well, since Dick tried to give Lucy money for an abortion without even considering what she wants, he's now at a tremendous disadvantage in any attempt to win her over. Felt good to see her run him out of the station.

Interesting to see that Harry's up for activity as a Book House Boy that he shouldn't be hearing about as Sheriff. In reality only bad could possibly come of that but in this TV show you just know that good will come of it instead. Only on TV.

Still idling along on the endlessly drawn out story ark. I'll give this ep my usual 7 hot law clerks in an RV on a stormy night.
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Member: Rank 3
Honestly, this one just felt like filler. Nothing major happening. The good news is that Josie is back; I got tired of seeing her special billing every week but no sign of her. And she did rock that black outfit she was wearing.

Audrey still being held prisoner, and drugged. Now her father’s being forced to have Cooper make the drop so that he can be killed or captured. And he’s playing right along. Meanwhile, Jean shoots one of his own men dead because a doped-up Audrey claimed that he had hit her. And he does it right in front of her, making her a witness. If he thought she was sharp enough to make valid accusations, she’s sharp enough to remember a murder. Perhaps he was just trying to impress her.

Coop tries to get Lucy to open up about why she’s in such a mood. She says that she broke up with Andy because he never exercises, never washes his car, and never wears a sports coat. So she takes up with Dick, who does all of those. He’s an ass, but at least he’s different. The whole scene just makes Lucy look like a shallow jerk.

Meanwhile, Andy wants to retake his sperm test in hopes of getting a better grade. The Doc just happens to have a sample bottle around with him. Now the Doc didn't have the porno magazine with him to give Andy , so how did Andy just pop one up out of nowhere? Either way, the whole setup was just to make Andy look like an ass in front of his beloved, which he does. Still, at least that gives us hope that the baby is his – especially since Dick acts concerned and then gives Lucy money for an abortion instead.

Interestingly enough, I also saw an episode of RIVERDALE the next day where they were discussing having given someone money for an abortion. On both shows, the word “abortion” is never spoken. They just talk about “making an appointment with the doctor”. Amazing how some groups act like abortion is the most important right a woman should have, but boy they never want to use the dirty word, calling it “reproductive rights” or whatever other BS term they can think of. The truth is “abortion” is an ugly word, and an even uglier act. (Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now.)

What else is going on? Oh yeah, some nonsense about knowing that a food critic is coming by and trying to be ready to impress him. Who cares? Leland confesses to killing Jacques, but will probably go for diminished capacity. And Laura was a naughty girl according to her diary.

Color me unimpressed this week. I’ll give this 4 ceiling panels, shown in extreme close-up to make them look unworldly.

Best dialogue (I could find)

(After Twin Peaks is compared to Heaven)
Judge Sternwood: “This week, Heaven included arson, multiple homicides, and an attempt on the life of a Federal agent.”
Cooper: “Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir.”