Review Tonight! "Twin Peaks" S02E05 "The Orchid's Curse"

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Member: Rank 5
Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 27, 1990 on ABC

Donna and Maddy plan something naughty. Donna has oral sex with Harold, but it's not what you're thinking. And in this episode you'll learn what a "hand cultivator" is and how you actually use it.





Member: Rank 5


EPISODE 5 – “The Orchid’s Curse”

Back in the 90s, Dale Cooper was the kind of guy who really needed a smart phone, and acted like he was using one, except for the fact that there weren’t any smart phones “back in the day”. I guess a micro-cassette recorder would have to do. And for some reason I also couldn’t help noticing the Indian figurine on Dale’s nightstand.

Lucy is going away to her sister’s and it’s just that so I guess that’s a non-story.

Bobby and Shelly do care so much about Leo. I’m touched indeed. Leo is a vegetable basically. At least the hot legal county clerk is also a bartender. How convenient.

Donna tries to bribe Harold (Emotionally? With sex? Not clear in the beginning) in exchange for being allowed to read Laura’s secret diary. Harold agrees (I thought he was going to say no because, you know, he’s become the guardian of Laura’s privacy so to speak), but his terms are not the best: he’ll read it to her (How can she be sure he’s being faithful to the original content?) and the diary can’t leave his home. She makes off with it anyway in an attempt to lure him outside, but he collapses.

Donna starts having “sessions” with Harold describing to him moments she had with Laura. And, sheer coincidence, everything she says sounds sexy. Donna and Maddy plan to steal the diary, and that would play out in the episode’s climax (which now I realize is another sex-related word, so I guess that’s the Donna effect), but it does not turn out well. More of that later. Anyway… Harold shows Donna his orchid, but Donna doesn’t show him her… flower. Of course everything referring to the orchid is a metaphor for s.. romance.

Nadine has super strength, and she still thinks she’s a teenager. She thinks James is one of her classmates. But that goes nowhere, so, moving on…

The elusive Mr. Tojamura has dealings with Ben Horne. Mr. Tojamura is quite an attractive fellow. You’ll understand that later.

Jacques Renault has a deadly weapon under his sleeve, a mounted blade that pops out menacingly. That reminds me of a gadget James West had.

Deputy Andy says, “Oh my God!” I don’t even remember why, but it sounded just like that.

Oh, yes, I think I remember now. Andy is a whole town. Way to go, Andy. You’re a whole town gone fishing!

So, Cooper and Truman make plans to rescue Audrey and jump into action. First order of the day: take care of the guy guarding the casino/brothel door. What a scare! For a moment I thought Truman had stabbed him.

Remember that cute Black (or Mixed Race) from Robocop 2? Probably not, but anyway she’s in this episode. Cooper coerces her to take him to the room where they are keeping Audrey. And he’s so cool and has cat-like reflexes that he gets a hold of her arm, preventing her from from stabbing him without even looking at her. Super cool.

In the melee that ensues, Jacques uses his knife thing and kills Blackie because… reasons. I’m not sure why he did it, and I don’t really care he did it.

A goon holds Cooper and Truman at gunpoint, but then “The Cavalry” arrives in the nick of time. Or can I say the “Indians” showed up instead? Well, it was Deputy Hawk to be clear.

Jacques immobilizes Hank from behind. I didn’t get why the camera focuses on an official badge and identification. Is Hank really Daryl Lodwick from the District Attorney’s Office? I didn’t get that. Norma knows who she married. Or has he been lying to her for years because he’s been undercover ever since?

So, earlier I said Donna and Maddy were planning to steal the diary. In the end, Harold catches Maddy stealing the aforementioned diary. He attempts to attack them with a small gardening fork (a “hand cultivator” and yes, I had to look that up, imagine me not knowing what to call an ordinary hand cultivator), but pauses and makes a cryptic statement instead. He says that Laura knew THE SECRET, which is… the secret of knowing who killed you or something. Then scratches himself with the “face scratcher” I mean, “hand cultivator.” So… I guess he won’t be a danger to the girls after all.

I guess we’ll be stuck in the middle of the grade scale for a while. So, The Orchid’s Curse gets 5 pots of chamomile tea which will make your mind become porous (at least mine is, at this point), something that can only be reversed with yoga and discipline.


Member: Rank 3
We got off to a great start this week. Cooper did a headstand and finally spotted that note from Audrey. Once again she was cryptic, but at least it was obvious to him and us – North for Canada, Jack for One-Eyed Jacks. Cooper finally knows where Audrey is!

We then have a silly scene with some insurance man testing out some device to keep Leo in while he’s in his coma. I kept thinking that sleazy guy looked familiar – it was Squiggy from LAVERNE & SHIRLEY. He ends up stuck in his own device while Shelly and Bobby run off. All he has to do is grasp the chains on the side and hop off, but he’ll probably be stuck there for hours instead.

Two legal hearings for Clinton the judge: a bail hearing for Leland (released on his own recognizance) and a competency hearing for Leo Johnson (declared incompetent to stand trial.) The judge even reveals his decision to one of the attorneys (Sheriff Truman) in a bar before he will announce it in court. Wasn’t really worth the bother for that other lawyer to come into town.

The other big story is Donna trying to read Laura’s diary. Harold offers to read it to her in exchange for her to share some of her secret past. Naturally, she tells a hot, steamy story about Laura making out with other boys and then her suggesting they all go skinny-dipping. She then grabs the diary and runs outside teasing him to follow her, but he goes into shock after stepping out of the door and she feels genuinely sorry and helps him back in without stealing the diary.

Ben Horne gets a new buyer – a mysterious Japanese figure who offers him 5 million dollars. Something is definitely off about him. His voice sounds like it's a female trying to pass herself off as a man. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if it turned out it was Catherine in disguise? Getting back to Horne, he sends Hank out to bring Audrey back since he knows Coop won’t be returning.

At One-Eyed Jacks, dirty Jean plans to stab Cooper with his trick sleeve knife after he hands over the money. Fortunately, Cooper and Truman have other plans. They slip in stealthily and rescue Audrey just before she was to get a fatal heroin overdose. But it’s not quite flawless ; Truman is too late to save Blackie from getting the same fatal knife wound intended for Dale, and then Jean manages to flee the Coop. Next, he and Coop get caught by one of Jean’s guards. But before he can shoot them, he gets a knife in the back from good old Hawk. Honestly, you could see it coming, but who cares? I loved it anyway.

Meanwhile, Donna tries to distract Harold long enough to get Maddy to sneak in and steal the diary. But they’re both really bad at their jobs. Harold finds out, grabs a digging claw and claws himself. Bad ending; I actually like that guy. But at least he didn’t slit his own throat like it looked like he might do.

Oh, and Andy gets good news. He wasn’t sterile; he just had a low sperm count. But now, his numbers are huge. Bad news, though. Lucy claimed to be spending two days with her sister and her husband, but it turns out she’s gone away to have an abortion. Run, Andy, Run – and stop her.

Good week, except for poor Harold getting clawed. But I’ll give this one 8 refrigerator doors that come off in Nadine’s hand. Forgot to mention that she still thinks she’s in high school, and that she thinks her son is a fellow student there - and apparently she has super-strength, too.

Bob Peters 61

Member: Rank 2
The best lines of the show came early:
"Tasks coming into focus ... objects becoming clearer." and there's the forgotten note under the bed that told Coop where to find and rescue Audrey.
"I had to drink 3 pots of camomile tea to find that out. Which reminds me, would you excuse me?" Hilarious,.

Interesting to see Harry stray from the cliche in his technique to subdue the guard. Any other show would have had him simply konk they guy on the noggin with the butt of his pistol. Here you think he had gut-stabbed the guy until he puts him away with no bloody abdominal wound. I guess he must have crushed the guys testicles in his hand instead to get the same physical reaction. Still a refreshing departure from the norm.

So Coop gets Audrey and shows his "poor man's James Bond" cred in his dealings with Jean's girlfriend in the process, and Harry witnesses Jean murdering Blackie before they get away, only to have a nameless henchman get the drop on them.

Cliche but still awesome to have Hawk take the guy out from behind with his mad knife-throwing skill. One of the most awesome supporting characters I've ever seen. "Good thing you guys can't keep a secret." Or is it his snooping skills only used for good? Probably a little of both.

Why in the Hell did Hank still have that DA's ID card? It should have gotten him hauled in for parole violation for sure by now.

Steady flow of the long story ark with nice action in the mean time and a decent cliffhanger till next week. I'll give it my usual 7 post-it notes all over Andy.

Bob Peters 61

Member: Rank 2
The other big story is Donna trying to read Laura’s diary. Harold offers to read it to her in exchange for her to share some of her secret past. Naturally, she tells a hot, steamy story about Laura making out with other boys and then her suggesting they all go skinny-dipping.
And the way she was smoking that cigarette, I could just taste the smoke going down and I quit the things a good 25 years ago.