Catweazle s02e05- The Black Wheels ( scene by scene)


Member: Rank 8
Catweazle is down at the Elderford rubbish tip, collecting junk, that to him is wondrous.
He gets on his tricycle, has a rope hooked up to a pram which is full of this junk, and pedals back to Duck Halt, the disused railway station he calls home.
He enters the waiting room with his "booty".
CW " Touchwood see, the marvels these foolish sorcerers leave behind, wondrous, miracles."
He picks up a wall clock from the pram, and places it among other wall clocks he has gathered.
CW " aha...tyrant thou has lost thy power, join thy brothers."
Next a colander, he looks at it puzzled,
CW "this bowl will hold no water, some looneth has made holes in it. ( sighs) Your right Touchwood I found not what I sought, the sign of the lion is hidden from me"
Catweazle is engaged in collecting examples of all 12 signs of the zodiac in order to fly, or so he thinks.
Catweazle then sees in his newly acquired rubbish, a book.
CW " mayhap a book."
He opens it , the " pages" are record sleeves, each with a vinyl disc inside them, Catweazle picks one out of a sleeve, this one is in two pieces, he realises the pieces fit to make one black disc.
CW " it's a mystery....magic."

At King's Farthing, handyman Groome is sitting in the kitchen, towel over his head, breathing in steam from a bowl of hot water, trying to rid himself of a rotten cold.
Mrs Gowdy the housekeeper looks on,
MG " you ought to see a doctor Henry, you're behaving like a child, he won't hurt you"
Gr ( whispered croaky vioce) " I don't need a doctor."
MG " what nonsense, what about tomorrow."
Gr " I wish you'd mind your own business Mrs Gowdy "
MG " anything to do with King's Farthing is my business, and it's no use hiding under that towel, I'll see what his Lordship says."

Catweazle has taken two more records out of their sleeves, and placed them on the floor, he studies them puzzled.
CW " what is the power of these black wheels Touchwood? Oh Adramalic, Nurgarl, wise demons I call on thee tell me the power of these black wheels...( pulls a face) .nothing works! Owlface, he will tell me."

Mrs Gowdy approaches Lord and Lady Collingford sitting outside at a garden table having tea.
MG " it's bad news I'm afraid."

Cedric meanwhile is at the vintage car the Collingfords use, washing it, with a bucket of water, a cloth, and musical accompaniment, he has a turntable near playing classical music.

Charles and Dotty on hearing the news,
LC " suppose the doctor can't do anything?"
LyC " then you'll have to put the whole thing off."
LC " Buckhunter, I can't do that, he's president of the historic weapons society, he's bringing them all tomorrow."
LyC " the weapons?
LC " no no , the society"
LyC " then there's only one thing to do, find another guide."
LC " another guide? Who on earth are we going to find to do that?
LyC ( smiles) " you Charles."
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Member: Rank 8
Cedric still at the car, he walks over to a tap to fill bucket again. Catweazle turns up , parks his tricycle at the edge of the woods, and through the gates of King's Farthing and sees the car and hears the music.
Puzzled he approaches turntable, the lid is on it, so he cannot see the record playing, but listens to the pleasing sound.
Cedric at tap suddenly sees him, and sees Mrs Gowdy heading in their direction. He runs up to Catweazle,
Cd " quick hide"
Catweazle is pushed into back of car, Cedric closes door ,just in time to see Mrs Gowdy turn corner,
MG " my word, you're quick"
Cd " you have to be"
MG "Groome takes all day. I like your music, does it help?"
Cd " yes"
MG " there's some polish in the car."
Cd ( alarmed) " no there isn't."
Mrs Gowdy opens door, takes out polish tin,
MG " here we are, well I won't interrupt you."
She leaves, a relieved Cedric opens door, no sign of Catweazle.
Cedric sees him crouching at front of car,
Cd " I've told you a hundred times, stay at Duck Halt...erm, let's go over there."
Cedric leads Catweazle to greenhouse, inside,
Cd " pooeey, you've been to the old rubbish tip haven't you?"
CW " wondrous I can keep nothing from you."
Cd " or anyone else"
Catweazle points to turntable,
CW " tis thine?"
Cd " the car?"
CW " nay the noise box"
Cd " oh the record player, yes that's mine"
CW " tis great magic, electrickery?"
Cd " batteries, one watt output"
CW " put out one what?"
Cd " one watt output, oh skip it"
CW " skip it?! Thou art a riddler my brother"
Cd " (laughs) " you are an idiot Catweazle, you better go.".
CW " I have a marvel to show thee, strange black wheels."
Cd " well I can't come now, everything's chaos, Groome's lost his voice"
CW " his voice, where?"
Cd " here of course."
CW " has thou searched for it?"
Cd " searched for it!?"
CW " the lost voice of thy Groome. If I find it for thee will thou tell me the secret of the black wheels?"
Cd " you're potty"
CW " I need your bucket"
Cd " why?"
CW " to put the voice in......come"
Catweazle runs off with the bucket, Cedric reluctantly follows.

Charles and Dotty are in the drawing room,
LC " I wouldn't know where to begin."
LyC " Groome usually begins in the hall. You know, Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to King's Farthing home of Lord Collingford and famous for its collection of..."
LC " military equipment dating from the Conquest "
LyC " you see"
LC " yes I know the opening of course but what happens after that, no Dotty it's not on."
LyC " you can learn it, it's all in our guidebook , you might even get a tip."
LC " might I?"
LyC " and what you can't remember you can make up."
LC " what with General Buckhunter and the weapons society breathing down my neck?"
LyC " well I don't think we should rely on Groome."
LC " no I suppose not, alright I'll try."
LyC (warmly)" oh Charles how brave"
LC " I don't have to wear that awful cap do I?"


Member: Rank 8
Groome is in bed in the servants lodge, Mrs Gowdy knocks on the door and comes in with a tray of food.
MG " ah that's better, don't talk just rest."
She puts the tray down across the bed, Groome clutching his throat trying and failing to speak at all now.
She leaves, Groome grimaces, he ain't deaf!

Catweazle and Cedric are in the woods,
Cd " Catweazle?"
CW " there my brother."
Cd " what?"
CW " in the well"
Cd " what is?"
CW " the lost voice, harken"
Catweazle leans into the well,
CW " good morrow."
The echo comes back, Catweazle manoeuvres the bucket over the well, Cedric can't help but laugh.
CW " ( angry) " stop cackling, why does thou titter?"
Cd " I can't help it, it's an echo you fool, you can't put an echo in a bucket!".
CW " but it is the voice."
Cd " no it's not, Groome lost his voice because of laryngitis."
CW " laryngitis, tis a demon I know not"
Cd " listen Catweazle when someone loses their voice, it doesn't mean they've lost their voice, it means, ( whispers) they've lost their voice."
CW " now thine has gone"
Cd " no it hasn't, you better go home Catweazle."
Cedric goes back to cleaning the car, Catweazle appears again,
Cd " will you go away"
CW " mayhap it's in the house"
Cd " you'll drive me potty in a minute, now once and for all, you can't have a voice without a body."
Suddenly the music on the record player has vocals, a singer.
CW " thou liest"
Cd " yes you can on a record."
CW " record?"
Cd " here, have a look."
Cedric opens lid of player , Catweazle sees record spinning round.
Cd " the voice is on the record."
Catweazle runs off joyfully,
Cd " what's got into him now?"
Catweazle runs excitedly into Duck Halt, and picks up his record collection.
CW " Touchwood the mystery is solved, trapped inside these wheels are lost voices. The Groome has lost his voice, but he shall have another, I will show Owlface my magic."

Catweazle has a pottery bowl , in it he is smashing up records with a stick, while saying,
CW " tan tethera, pethera.."
The bowl is full of vinyl record chips, he pours them into a mug.

Meanwhile Lord Collingford, Charles, is halfway up the stairs leading from the hallway, talking to no one , practicing being a guide.
LC " ladies and gentlemen welcome to King's Farthing home for its military weapons dating from the Conquest. If you'll all follow me, ( walking upstairs), on your left is a portrait"
It is indeed a portrait of Charles in Lord's regalia.
Catweazle sets off from Duck Halt on his tricycle.
Cedric arrives at the lodge located at the end of the main driveway , Mrs Gowdy waits outside,
Cd " doctor's on his way"
MG " oh good, you want me to stay?"
Cd " it's okay I'll show him"
MG " thank you Cedric"
Mrs Gowdy leaves, and seconds later Cedric looks in fear as Catweazle on his tricycle pedals into the drive, and gets off his bike.
Cd " what are you doing here?"
CW " where is thy Groome?"
Cd " go away! He's in there if you must know."
Catweazle holding his mug of " medicine " runs into lodge,
Cd " come back.....Catweazle."
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Member: Rank 8
Cedric follows Catweazle in,
Cd " the doctor's arriving at any minute, you'll get caught."
Catweazle pushes away Cedric's hand,
CW " unhand me Owlface"
Cd " what are you doing here?"
CW " I have a new voice for thy Groome."
Cd " what !?"
A car hooter is heard,
Cd " the doctor...wait here"
Cedric runs out as the car passes lodge,
Cd" ( calling) " doctor."
Catweazle enters the bedroom, Groome is asleep, Catweazle uses his wooden stirrer to mix vinyl chips in mug , then leans over bed.
CW " waken O Groome"
Groome wakes, and gets a shock as Catweazle, half on bed, holds out spoonful of vinyl.
CW " thy voice cannot be found , but I have brought thee another."
Gr ( mouthing) " HELP!"
Catweazle slips a spoonful in Groome's mouth, that is immediately spat out.
CW " thou must eat what I prepare for thee"
Groome leaps out of bed knocking Catweazle's vinyl chips on the floor, and runs out and sees Cedric, he holds door shut.
Cd " what's the matter?"
Groome tries but can't speak, he indicates Cedric to come and hold door, Cedric does as Groome runs to drawer and takes out notepad and writes. He and Cedric swap, Groome holding door, Cedric reading note.
Cd " help there's a madman, what in there?"
Groome nods, then beckons Cedric over, they swap again, Cedric holds door Groome writes more, then swap back, Cedric reads note,
Cd " I'll get his Lordship....oh er couldn't we just let him go? I couldn't hold the door."
Again they swap places, Groome opens drawer again and produces key, Cedric lets go of door as Groome locks it.

Meanwhile Dotty is with Dr Hawkins outside the main entrance,
LyC " can't think how you missed Cedric."
DrH " never mind Lady Collingford, the gatehouse you say?"
LyC " yes you passed it, at end of the drive."
Groome meanwhile has got his coat on over his pyjamas, bicycle clips on and runs out of lodge and onto his bike and pedals towards house.

Lord Collingford comes round the corner of King's Farthing still practicing his guidance of visitors for tomorrow.
LC ( to no one) " do keep up as a group makes it easier for me. Up The steps and here we come to the pistol collection ( stops by cannon) er, this is a cannon, last fired at the battle of St Vincent in eighteen hundred and eighteen hundred and...whenever the battle of St Vincent was."
Doctor Hawkins stares puzzled as to what is going on,
LyC " my husband.....excuse me."
Dotty follows Charles as he walks off chatting to himself. Mrs Gowdy approaches the doc,
MG " he can be very difficult doctor."
DrH " Lord Collingford?"
MG " certainly not! I meant Mr Groome."
DrH " of course."
Dr Hawkins smiles weakly and gets back in his car.

Cedric angrily enters bedroom to see Catweazle picking up his vinyl chips from the carpet.
Cd " now look what you've done, of all the crazy ideas. You better disappear."
CW " disappear?"
Cd " come on"
Cedric pushes Catweazle out of bedroom.

Groome pedalling up to house passes Dr Hawkins in his car.

CW " he would not take the voice."
Cd " I don't blame him, now come on"
Someone is heard entering lodge,
Cd " too late, hide."
Catweazle is pushed back into bedroom.
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Member: Rank 8
Dr Hawkins enters,
DrH " Cedric isn't it?"
Cd " yes"
DrH " you been holding the Fort?"
Cd " yes"
DrH " in here?"
Cedric reluctantly nods, the doc enters bedroom.
Catweazle is in bed hiding under blanket.
DrH " good afternoon Mr Groome, feeling better? Now do come out there's a good chap."
Catweazle remains hidden,
DrH " I can't do anything to help you unless I can see you can I? ( losing patience) I've a lot of other people to see you know, you're behaving very badly."

Mrs Gowdy watering the flowerpots outside house astonished as Groome leaps off bike and runs up.
MG " Henry, what are you doing out of bed?"
Groome mouthing and pointing runs into house.
At lodge,
DrH ( shouts) " will you come out!"
Catweazle pulls down sheets,
DrH " I'm just going to take your pulse, give me your hand."
Catweazle does this, the doctor tries to take pulse, Catweazle grabs his hand the doctor tries something else.
DrH " sit up, and put this under your tongue"
Catweazle takes thermometer, puts it horizontally between lips, the doctor correctly places thermometer under tongue then Catweazle spits it out.

In drawing room Groome is writing again on a pad, he hands it to Mrs Gowdy.
MG ( reading) " he tried to make me eat a gramophone record! Now don't go away Henry, stay calm I'll be back"
Groome realises Mavis thinks he's gone potty.
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Member: Rank 8
Back at the lodge,
DrH " open wide again, don't worry I'm not going to put anything in it."
Catweazle refuses to open mouth, so Dr Hawkins forcibly squeezes on Catweazle's nose, making him open mouth, then looks inside.
DrH " hhmm..looks fairly normal"
Hawkins gets out his stethoscope,
DrH " I don't think you should wear your dressing gown in bed"
He starts a chest examination, and his stethoscope knocks against something around Catweazle's chest area, Hawkins opens robe to see Adamcos, the witch knife, he hurriedly closes robe.
DrH "what an earth!!"

Dotty comes into drawing room with Mrs Gowdy,
LyC " hello Mr Groome, now what was it the doctor wanted you to eat?"
Groome passes her the note, Dotty reads it looking incredulous.
Dotty and Mavis whisper out of earshot of Groome.
LyC " I can't find my husband anywhere"
MG " what about Doctor Hawkins?"
LyC " you go and see, I'll manage here."
Mavis leaves, Dotty puts a reassuring hand on Groome's shoulder,
LyC " there there"
Mrs Gowdy gets on Groome's bike and pedals off to lodge.
Inside lodge,
DrH " now then I'm going to give you a little injection.....arm please."
Catweazle sees the needle and reacts in terror,
DrH " you can talk!?"
Catweazle leaps out of bed, jostles with the doctor ,kicks him and runs out.
Outside he jumps on his tricycle and rides off, Hawkins rattled in the extreme runs out as Mrs Gowdy turns up, Cedric looks innocently on, shrugs, he knows nothing.
MG " are you alright doctor?"
DrH " yes I think so"
MG " did he attack you?"
DrH " well there was a struggle, I don't think there's anything more I can do, goodbye."

Groome is busy writing more notes ,
LyC " I wish you didn't write anymore, just relax"
LyC " Groome!?"
Gr " my voice, it's come back"
Charles enters,
LyC " Charles his voice is back isn't that marvellous"
Gr ( happy) " lalala it's back!"
Charles writes a note, hands it to Dotty.
LyC " Charles!? ( reads) oh no!"
Charles points to his mouth,
LC ( mouths) " oh yes."

Cedric and Catweazle are sitting on the platform at Duck Halt,
Cd " you're still the mystery man, you're still a mystery to me as well."
CW " I swore to help thee my brother."
Cd " you got it a bit mixed up."
CW " nay"
Cd " just this once"
CW ( shakes head) " your magic is too hard for me"
Cd " you think so, never mind, where are your records?"
Catweazle picks up his " book" of records.
Cedric opens it, and pulls out record from first sleeve. Catweazle agitated points to disc,
CW " see see"
The center of the record has a lion picture on it.
Cd " oh an old lion label, don't see many of them today."
CW ( tapping record) " see the lion, the sign is revealed, I have another sign."
Cd " careful don't break it, let's play it shall we?"
CW " aye"
Cedric places disc on his turntable he brought here, brass jazzy music is heard.
Catweazle stands and pulls Cedric to his feet, charmingly the two dance a little jig.

Cedric......Gary Warren
Catweazle....Geoffrey Bayldon
Lord Collingford.....Moray Watson
Lady Collingford....Elspet Gray
Groome.....Peter Butterworth
Mavis Gowdy......Gwen Nelson
Dr Hawkins......Johnathan Elsom

Next episode;
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