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During the taping of a recent season of Bachelor in Paradise, the production was halted due to the alleged sexual assault of one Corrine Olympios. The facts, as best I can gather, are these. She and fellow contestant DeMario Jackson had been drinking, were in a hot tub together, and she started...

I didn't watch much horror as a child outside of the Universal movies and other classics, but when I was fourteen, I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street, and fell in love with Heather Langenkamp. She introduced me to the concept of the "Final Girl" and she did it well.

B - Breakfast Club, The Five completely unconnected students all end up in Saturday detention for various infractions. The group end up bonding, but by the end, still aren't really friends. It's actually a pretty good look at high school social groups and the various pressures put on teens of...

All The Young Dudes - Mott the Hoople

Yup. This is what happens when I get in a hurry. *hangs head in shame* A Murder Of One - Counting Crows

Another Way To Die - Jack Black and Alicia Keys

With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Cocker

Here are my movies that will, no matter what, put a smile on my face and make me feel less like stabbing myself in the throat. I'll do my best not to have repeats, as many of the ones already mentioned would make this list. Duck Soup A Night At The Opera A Day At The Races Room Service (not the...

Welp. Being used for sex is still having sex. So, I have that going for me. Which is nice. Dedicated Follower Of Fashion - The Kinks

V - V For Vendetta (2005) Agent Smith and Padme Amidala take on The War Doctor. Internet culture becomes confused about what Guy Fawkes actually stood for.

T - Tall Tale (1995) A young boy runs away and finds himself in the company of fictional characters from the old west, probably while under the influence of some bad peyote he gets from some crazy Indian chick he met at Coachella. Or something.

R - Rope Hitchcock film that shows two young men kill their classmate in the first five minutes of the movie. What the hell, is this Memento? Are we doing non-linear storytelling now? It does bring up a great idea, which is that we should be able to kill those who serve no purpose in society.

I had a much better ending for The Notebook. My wife thinks it's horrible, and my son wanted to see a movie with my ending. I think he may have the same madness/genius I have.

You Don't Love Me Anymore - Weird Al Yankovic

After reading the description of Rampage, I think my version would be much better.

I feel; that much of her catalogue would be well served with gritty, urban remakes. The LIttle Colonel would be much like Annie meets Birth of a Nation. I always thought that Birth of a Nation would have been much better with song and dance.

P - Psycho The heartwarming story of a boy and his mother. Also, he's batshit crazy, and kills a woman after she gives him an erection. As you do.

Blofeld.

N - Napoleon Dynamite A nerdy outcast makes friends. Awwww... Also, I believe The Maltese Falcon was the only time I liked the movie more than the book.