Fun The Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Amusement: General' started by ant-mac, Feb 21, 2017.

  1. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    Have you heard that they've recently released condoms especially designed for those who suffer from premature ejaculation...

    Apparently the inside is coated with a strong anaesthetic to provide the user with a numbing sensation that allows them to last longer.

    Or you could turn the condom inside-out and then you wouldn't have to worry about waking anyone up...
     
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  2. ant-mac

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    [​IMG]
     
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  3. ant-mac

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  4. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    I really like kids...

    I'm not saying I could eat a whole one in a single sitting, but I'd give it a go.
     
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  5. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    How can you tell if someone's a vegan?

    Just wait... They'll tell you.
     
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  6. ant-mac

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  7. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    DIE HARD - The story of a man who passes away while testing erection dysfunction medication.
     
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  8. ant-mac

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    Vice-President Dick Cheney is briefing President George W Bush on the war in Iraq.

    "And unfortunately, Mister President, three Brazilian soldiers were killed during an allied operation today."

    Suddenly, Bush grabs his head in his hands and shakes it from side-to-side, while moaning out loud. "Oh my god! Oh my god!"

    Cheney looks at him in surprise. "What's wrong, Mister President?"

    Bush looks up at him in dread. "How many is a Brazilian?"
     
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  9. ant-mac

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    I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All that beeping gave me a headache and made me feel dizzy.
     
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  10. ant-mac

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    If it ever came down to a choice of saving an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will always choose to save the infant without even considering if there was a man on base.
     
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  11. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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  12. ant-mac

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  13. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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    Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are shot during a conference and die…

    Up in the sky, they are greeted by Saint Peter who says: ‚You have died. As you are politicians, surely you have sinned. Therefore you must wade through the Swamp of Lies before you can go to Heaven and join Him in eternal happiness.‘

    As in her former life, Merkel wants to tackle every challenge given and goes first. She notices the swamp barely reaches her ankles and thinks ‚Well, that‘s what you get for lying. At least, I did it for a better Europe.‘

    Curious about how the others are doing, she looks behind her and sees Putin covered in mud up to his knees. Furiously, she shouts, "This is impossible! Your reign was a dictatorship, you influenced world politics and economics to your benefit and you’ve achieved all that only by telling lies. How is it possible you‘re only knee-deep in this swamp?"

    Calmly, Putin answers, "Hush! I‘m standing on top of Donald and he hasn't noticed yet."
     
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  14. ant-mac

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