Fun The JOKE Thread

Discussion in 'Amusement: General' started by ant-mac, Feb 21, 2017.

  1. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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    A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom packing a suitcase. He immediately demands to know what she's doing.

    "I'm leaving you! I found out you're a pedophile!"

    The man chuckles. "That's an awful big word for a nine-year-old."
     
  2. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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    Why do pedophiles love Halloween?
    Home delivery.
     
  3. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Granddad.

    Shit! Stop the funeral!
     
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  4. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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    Man walks into a bar and shouts, "All republicans are bastards!"

    A fellow at the back of the bar yells back, "That offends me!"

    The first bloke asks, "What, are you a republican?"

    The second replies, "No, I'm a bastard!"
     
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  5. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    [​IMG]
     
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  6. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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  8. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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  9. ant-mac

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  10. ant-mac

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  11. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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    A man walks into a library and inquires about a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. The librarian replies, "The book rings a bell, but I don't know if it's in or not".
     
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  12. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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  13. ant-mac

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  14. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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  15. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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  16. ant-mac

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  17. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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    I have long been a fan of The Far Side. You are definitely filling an empty hole in me that needs filled. :emoji_wink:
     
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  18. ant-mac

    ant-mac Administrator
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    Yeah, I've always loved them.

    I've got some books sitting on the book shelf.
     
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  19. filmfan95

    filmfan95 Member: Rank 3

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    Three scientists decided to study flies, and to discuss their observations and conclusions the next day.

    The first scientist took a fly, and pulled off its wings. He said, "Fly fly." But the fly just sat there. He said, "Fly walk," and the fly walked away.

    The second scientist took a fly, and pulled off its legs. He said, "Fly walk." But the fly just sat there. He said, "Fly fly," and the fly flew away.

    The third scientist took a fly, and pulled of its wings and legs. He said, "Fly fly." But the fly just sat there. He said, "Fly walk." But the fly just sat there.

    The next day, the three scientists came together to come to the conclusion about flies. This is what they came up with:

    1. A fly without wings cannot fly, but can walk.

    2. A fly without legs cannot walk, but can fly.

    3. A fly without wings or legs is deaf.
     
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  20. chainsaw_metal1

    chainsaw_metal1 Member: Rank 8

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    My high school English teacher used to give a Far Side book to the seniors as a gift. She was also the one who had the complete Monty Python sketches, which my friends and I would borrow from her during study hall, take down to the student lounge, and all read aloud. Sure, the plebeians hated it, but I like to think we were bringing culture to their tiny lives.
     

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